My Blog

I’m teaching Carolyn Math online right now. Hilarious! Her math is SO easy compared to what i have to do. But good also la i can teach her now. xD

Condolences to Ameera about her loss.

But i just wanna thank my girls for a great night out at Italiannies last Sunday. We had a great funny time, and i loved buying my shades and skirt.

I’m so happy! I registered myself for Spanish class today. Yeayy. Hopefully by June i’ll sound like the real Ugly Betty. By way of fluency of course. LOL.

My life has been pretty okay.

Loving it!

And all you too.

Kisses, hugs, cuddles to Care-lyn and everyone i totally love!

Special ones to Ameera.

I so hate being sick! When i woke up this morning i really felt like i was going to topple over if i stood up. And if i did fall, then Carolyn would have felt the quakes in Victoria.

I’m always falling sick. Everyone says so. But i promised Kenny i’d take my VitCs everyday now, and he gave me a pat on the head. xD

Even though i’m sick, i’m content. I was really miserable having to be home most of the weekend, but i did get to see Macster, and Emily. I’m wearing the exact same sweater she hugged me and buried her face in my tummy in! Now it’ll always be special!

Not sure whether i did mention this before, but i was running for A-levels Student Council President. I didn’t get shortlisted for it, but Treasurer instead. Back to the Accounts for me, and my daddy’s happy. I think it’s just God’s way of laughing at me! I also don’t have to run against Joshie and Takshi anymore, and that’s a GREAT relief, seriously. I don’t think i’m disappointed much, again, i’ll just live it best i can.

Just one thing worries me. Care-lynn. She’s got her tummy aches again and Adelyn and Joce said she looked really pale and all that. I haven’t been able to webcam with her yet, sadly, soon i hope, so i’m still wondering how she is actually doing. And if you’re reading this, BABY, love you!

Other than that, i don’t think i have much to say. I’m just eternally praising God for letting me sing on Saturday night!

love you all, can’t wait to see my girls on Sundayy,

I don’t know why, exactly, I think it’s just everything i’ve been experiencing put together.

I got my SPM results last Wednesday, and they were good. My parents were happy and i was as well. Then everyday since then i’ve seen someone special and that’s been good too.

Friday night was the A-LEVELS FIESTA. That was a bomb. I didn’t stay to the end but i got to know some of the Iranian boys in college. I bid for Behbod on behalf of Hitakshi and yeah, we bought him over for a date. Funny.

Saturday was a normal day, but my aunts gave me nice gifts for my results. GIFTS !

Then yesterday was the HELP Open Day. I was helping out emcee-ing and all that and hanging out with the SASA-ians till evening and that was a blast. Birdie was dancing on stage like a nut! I wonder whether it’s on YouTube yet

I got to see Emily on Saturday and JoyJoy too. That was the best part of my weekend i think. I just adore them and i feel like the best big sis in the world that i get to kiss and cuddle them.

And i got to talk to Carolyn on Friday! That was extremely happi-fying, LOL. I missed Adelyn’s party and i miss them so but i’ll see them soon hopefully so we’ll just have to wait.

But all in all, I thank my lord Jesus for everything he’s given me.

I love you all!

Carolyn.

Noreen.

Ashikin.

Adila.

Ameera.

Bernice.

Isabelle.

Stephanie.

Macster.

Martin.

Kenny.

Laura.

Ramitra.

My Leo babies.

My sunday school babies.

Che-che’s friends who helped me get my laptop.

Athirah, Leyla, Firdaus and all my girls from school.

My teachers. And lecturers, i suppose.

You, who’s reading this.

I love you all.

Green is Ryan’s favourite colour.

And Ameera, this is for you. For all the times i left your name out of my blogs, for all the times we cancelled our dates because things just didn’t seem to work, for all the times i made you upset or sad or left out or any of the negative stuff i make people feel.

Thanks for always being there, and if not physically, taking the time to read my blog entries and sending me perked-my-day comments.

I’ll always be your KAWAN and i’ll always love you.

Wish we could see each other to just be silly more often.

You’ll get better, and i’ll be there when you do.

LOVE YOU LOADS!

I miss having roti-tisu. eeeyyyeerrrr.

That was meant for both Carolyn and Macster.

I do miss them so badly. One’s outstation and not able to be with me, and one’s in Australia and obviously not able to give me big Care-lyn hugs. DEPRESSING.

Oh and Carolyn, i’m so proud of you now doing housework and all that. Still insist that you kick the dumb dog xD if you want it away! I know that one day was really hard on you and i’m just glad you told me about it. I feel a lot closer to you when we get to talk and goodness, i miss you so so much. Everyday.

Macster, you need a whack-ster. But God be with you and His will be done. That’s all we can pray. I miss you nuts too.

So happy i’m going for Sunday School tomorrow to see my babies. I missed the DREADFULLY last week being sick and not being able to teach. Sigh. Praise Jesus for today.

I miss too many things to list down. Ramitra, Ashikin and Laura included.

LOVE.

I have never felt so lousy in a long long time. Physically and emotionally, and i’m very, very tired mentally.

I attended the SEA Forensics finals yesterday. Woke up at 5.30 and left for school at 6. Did not get home till 11.30 pm, because i went to get my laptop at LowYat after the finals. That took a huge strain on me physically and mentally, and it was all that idiot’s fault. I hope he feels like one today because he is! So much for being German. [ I just felt like blaming him, sorry. ]

I’ve been sick since Thursday, no thanks to the Irish Cream i downed on Wednesday night. I haven’t gotten my adequate rest since then, until just now of course. But tonight i have to go for a dinner, and will probably end late. Praise Jesus i have no class tomorrow till 2 pm.

Sigh. I thought i was supposed to be a tad smarter than girls my age.

At least i enjoyed the screening of Much Ado About Nothing on Friday. Keanu, Denzel and Robert Leonard all at once! And the A-levels GA was a crazy affair. At least the lunch was good, but i have a strong feeling my walking off didn’t teach Jon much of a lesson.

Got to stop rattling.

All my love. I miss Carolyn to my very heart’s core.

I’m so happy for Laura! She should know why.

And today was a rather, typical day. Lit class was cancelled just as i came for it, and then i had lunch with Laura. People texting me for class info, times and all that. The usual thing.

Me going around in class talking to just about half of them, because i can’t make my mind up about who i want to be friends with and hang around with for sure.

Helped MikYung and Shazlinaah for their exams registration, and did my own with Sabra, Janice, Michelle, Paul, and Edward screaming around. Really a typical day. Not sad or happy or exhilarating or anything. Typical.

Just one thing. I think i’m detaching myself from my past. Not entirely, but i’m moving on. Good. Although people say i should talk about it.. i don’t think that’d be a good idea. I’d hurt someone.

I miss Carolyn SO SO MUCH. I got to hug Adelyn and Joce yesterday, and that was good. The best part is Carolyn misses me too. Funny how things work out.

And yes. I miss Him. Of course i do. Dumb feller went back there. But being so sweet. Making me smile at 4.30 am. Again, typical.

The calm after the storm. My calm, and my storm. And Ivan is SO cute when he’s asleep.

I’ll make this orange because it reminds me of Carolyn, and her chance to start over.

I wish i were with her.

Everyday now.

My life sucks. There’s too much change for me to handle at a go. I wish i were at a new place, somewhere where i could start over. Where i don’t have to pretend to be bubbly and fun and loving because to the people there, i never was.

I can’t talk to anyone about how i feel. It’s just too wrong, how i feel. But i can’t help feeling this way. I tell bits and pieces to people, but it doesn’t help. I need to give it all away.

The whole SASA thing is not kicking off right. SIGH.

MY LIFE, BASICALLY, SUCKS.

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day, and Happy CNY.

Glad i could spread some sunshine.

It’s so obvious i miss you. No reason i shouldn’t. I think about you ALL THE TIME, and i wonder how you are, where you are, and all that.

They may not understand, or they may, and not like it, but i live for myself, and now, you. You mean SO much to me, like a lot of other people, but you’re special, and i figured that out when it hit me you were going.

I’ll never ever regret you, no. I enjoyed you, your smiles, laughter, silly teasing and all that. I’m glad i’m part of your life, and i never want this to end. I’m glad i could hug you and kiss you, especially when you needed it. I’m glad.

Life is not going to be easy for you and me. It will take a lot of hard work. But i’ll go that far for you, because i love you. I truly do. It won’t matter what they say, because the people i love will understand, and if they don’t, then it only means they don’t love me for me, and it was never meant to be.

Still can’t believe you left, not when you’re still stuck in my head and heart.