My Blog

You just cannot imagine how bad i feel after reading what you had to say. I’d be retarded not to know what and who you mean, so i’ll go ahead with this.

I’ve been in this kind of thing before, and i don’t think it’s wrong, although the world tells you so. I’m just too afraid of taking the next possible step because you’re leaving, and i’ve got a lot to leave behind.

I just don’t want you to ever feel useless or whatever negative energy you tend to feel because of what i say. I explained, it was blackmail. and now i know never to use it on you. I never intended to make you feel bad for not talking, or not saying what you wanted so badly to. I never want you to ever feel you have to start over, because thinking of life without you in it, makes me cry. Makes me want to disappear from the surface of this planet as well.

I adore you. Your every smile, word, it fills my heart with a funny kind of warmth. Something they call love. And i don’t know how i’m going to survive the year without that. I put on a tough front because i’m always surrounded with people, and i don’t ever show weakness, even if that’s all i am. And maybe that’s why you say i don’t feel what you feel about me. Because i don’t let myself show it.

I’m crying right now, because i feel you.
I love you.