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it struck me that i’m leaving school very soon. after stretches of holidays and final exams, i’m going to be school-independent. i won’t be stepping into Assunta because it won’t be my institution of education anymore. and that is horribly sad. i grew up there. i was moulded there. i learnt there. i cried and laughed there. and soon, it’ll just be a part of my past.

and then, friends will start to leave. people i called my classmates and club-mates will go far away. bonds will be broken by distance. memories will fade, replaced by new ones. the girls and boys you hugged yesterday will be figures of the past.

we will grow up and learn to survive in new environments. grow a hard, thick skin with a bitter, sad inside. learn to survive in the ‘real world’. not fun. not what i’m used to, and really not what i want to venture into. i want to stay here, forever. the innocence is precious, and i want to be in this state of loving everyone i meet. i want to be where i can love the people i love, without having to worry about missing them, or losing them.

i’m not ready to grow up. i’m not ready to lose my world. but we all have to. I have to.

depressing-ness aside, Matthew is fun today. and Taylor’s interview was sucky because i was so so sick. but Daryl was cute! LOL. that, coming from the Amelia who was cursing at him half the time. but i’m so decided on going to HELP. so that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

i miss a lot of people. and i want hugs. can’t wait for all my trials results.

gotta go!