it struck me that i’m leaving school very soon. after stretches of holidays and final exams, i’m going to be school-independent. i won’t be stepping into Assunta because it won’t be my institution of education anymore. and that is horribly sad. i grew up there. i was moulded there. i learnt there. i cried and laughed there. and soon, it’ll just be a part of my past.

and then, friends will start to leave. people i called my classmates and club-mates will go far away. bonds will be broken by distance. memories will fade, replaced by new ones. the girls and boys you hugged yesterday will be figures of the past.

we will grow up and learn to survive in new environments. grow a hard, thick skin with a bitter, sad inside. learn to survive in the ‘real world’. not fun. not what i’m used to, and really not what i want to venture into. i want to stay here, forever. the innocence is precious, and i want to be in this state of loving everyone i meet. i want to be where i can love the people i love, without having to worry about missing them, or losing them.

i’m not ready to grow up. i’m not ready to lose my world. but we all have to. I have to.

depressing-ness aside, Matthew is fun today. and Taylor’s interview was sucky because i was so so sick. but Daryl was cute! LOL. that, coming from the Amelia who was cursing at him half the time. but i’m so decided on going to HELP. so that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

i miss a lot of people. and i want hugs. can’t wait for all my trials results.

gotta go!

yes.JOY! my SPM Trials are finally over! i can sit back and lepak like mad now. and even though it wasn’t easy, full of slugging and crying here and there, we all made it through. i made it through. the stress has to be released slowly though. i might still have nightmares about Bio and stuff. -_-"

but i can only wish this would last so long. they’ve given us a bunch of diagnostic tests to do! the english sucks and the whole thing is like, damned. sigh.

but besides all that, i think life is good. can’t wait for the sleepover this Saturday! it’s going to be fun. and i can’t wait to go for the Taylor’s interview. i’m a bit more prepared for it after the interview at HELP institute. that one was quite good too.

i have nothing else to say really, except that i miss people.

it’s so so annoying how the people you think you can talk to or learn from are, never there. they pop up in life as and when they feel they’re happy around you, then at times when you just need someone’s hand to hold, they fly away. far away.

but sometimes that’s the way life goes. what you think you have is not real, and what you don’t expect is what saves you from the end. tonight i’m discovering myself, and the people i love. and surprisingly, i find myself laughing at memories i have with passing friends, whom i realise will be the ones at the finish.

please, don’t think of me as deep or sentimental. think of me as someone who has gone through [a short] life, but a very meaningful one. i have brought laughter to pain, and joy to sadness. at least, i try my very best to. i have loved all i can, and i will for all of life there is to come.

if this was way sudden, sorry. i just felt that i had to tell someone how i felt, and this is my blog. so yes.

Enjoy.