could hardly take it anymore. i honestly truly praise and worship the one living God for letting us not win! it was so so relieving. sigh. now i have time to live and to breathe again!

now it’s IU. started la…haihz. Leo is kinda getting all screwed up. the BOARD has something quite wrong with it. i agree with Laura. everyone is too busy! too much to do…too few good people around in school to do them. haihzzz….kesian all of us. right now my head is aching and i’m exhausted and my bunny baby wants to leave for (e))** soon. for so long some more!!! haiyakz.

about this sunday…everything’s really screwed. it’s so cheap to communicate nowadays…but communication is hard to achieve. the world is dying…slowly. it’s started…and will end quite soon i believe. but soon here is a long time for humans like us. life is short. i love everyone i love anyway.

especially you. you know who you are. i cry so much for you.

*kisses*

man utd. all the way!

this time i’m sure i wasn’t the cause of my heartbreak…he did it…and left me bleeding. it’s hard to take when he puts you down and calls you a child…lets you know you will never understand him even though you try till it hurts. sometimes the things you do go unnoticed… all because you’re not physically together…the time he spends with other people..the people he spends time with…sometimes it drains me. slashes my breaking heart.

i consider myself lucky for having him to love. i wished he’d understand.

and it’s all clashing! i’m going half nuts. some teachers of mine are SO SO understanding! and some just suck! sheeshers. Pn. Gan is actually pretty sweet. and i can’t stand ****** anymore. omg.

nothing much else. just LOVE who i love. [you know who you are]

yeah i am SO NOT dramatic but teacher asked me to do drama. the competition is on THURSDAY for frickin’ goodness’ sakes. it’s kinda killing me….crazy. and my exam results are like crap! 4a1s and 4b3s. can you imagine that? so unfair. why couldnt i just get all a2s or something. shucks.

i havent blogged in a while but i still have nothing to say. except that i’m a traitor…i love the TTDI JAYA futsal player, not the assuntarian ones LOL. kinda true though. at least(i think( she’s a good pal. aihz.

still crazy in love with ******e*! very! and cool rims, man…purple!! LOL.

play good and play hard-man utd. all the way! ryan rawks. ******e* is a baby!

it was SO not fun! only certain parts were. those kids were real BRATS and pains in the ***. shucks. SO RUDE TOO! if i ever had kids i’d send them to like some high-class place where they learnt every perfect thing in the world. sigh. talking about kids the debate discussion was damn funny today!

LEOS are almost good-for-nothing. the probates are the hell worst idiots in this world! so rude. that * * girl…i feel like just failing her instantly. she probably wont get in anyway… so many leos don’t like her..   YAY!!!

LOL i’m so bad…but anyway the only good part was the end…the food and all. the meeting after that sucked though. I’M GIVING UP ON IU. letting ***e***e do what she wants. i’ll do what i need to do and if IU screws up it’s her fault. sorry if i offended anyone on this but hey i’m human. understand people, sometimes.

i love you ******e*!!!! Forever you’ll have my heart. i need you always. **e***

yeah…today went to school to help out with the debate…then kena tarik masuk for the drama competition. main character some more! *haiya* all these funny funny things…if they don’t get me a good job in future i’m going to kill myself. but at least it’s kinda fun…being Ester is a first!                  *why am i not beautiful??LOL.*

YAY! my ******e* is back in PJ! so long k ** went away… missed *** like crazy. wow censoring is kinda like really fun! i should like be in the censorship board of some country… a bright future ahead huh? can’t wait.

i wanna watch all the MAN UTD. matches and i wanna watch ryan perform…being in malaysia KINDA sucks but at least malaysia is colourful and alive 24 hours! today they were commenting in other countries they sleep at 6 pm and never wake up. LOL.

nothing else much to say…except that my ‘friends’ don’t exist anymore. they’re all so fake and so horrible. can’t take much. they hide their feelings but they suck at it…and it’s kinda obvious our ‘friendships’ are going nowhere. KIDS nowadays. quoted ******e*. sigh…*my weakness is that i care too much. but the scars remind me that the past is real…*

man utd. all tha way! ryan cabrera buck up and start being you! i love ******e*! you know who you are!

they’re supposed to be my friends…i try so hard to keep the friendship alive…but they take and take and all they expect from me is to give. i’ve given…my friendship with ***e** is already shaking. we were so strong. together at everything…but they stole her away from me and they still want me to let go. i have nothing to hold…she’s theirs. and if that’s not enough they just want me gone. ***e* made it worse. now ****e*** thinks i ruined her chance of having him even though it’s not bloody my fault. why is life like this? thank God and thank Heavens LEO games is tomorrow…i get to play hard and have fun if i can! my Twinkles is still in *e**** though. it’s DAMN SAD here without ***. LOL. i censor too much. but it’s kinda cool. i love stars. my  twinkles is a star ***self.

life sucks when nothing is going your way…thank God not everyone is like ‘them’. not all of them are like that anyway. today’s Leo meetings were kinda fun. victoria don’t forget seaweed tomorrow…and sara.t. don’t forget my nerds! LOL. damn funny.

poor Laura though. she’s got TONNES to do. now teacher doesn’t wanna help us anymore…all of us have to do it on our own. but again…prayers work it all out! **Jesus you are my best friend…**

this shade of green is really nice. MAN UTD. RAWKS!! wayne rooney is the bomb! Nistelrooy only played in the second half. damn stupid. Ryan’s hair sucks right now. *lisa what the *e** are you doing to him? you suck!* i wish everything were different…if only i had the world in my hands… *sigh*

anyway…there’s nothing else to say. i’m really really tired now…got SO much researching to do right now. sheesh…holidays are the busiest! wonder what Ashikin is doing. kinda miss that girl. at least she’s a good pal…willing to be there and help if she can.

i will and i do love those who deserve my love.-**e***

exams are over! i’m not sad because of that but because my baby is leaving for somewhere else!!! so far away ler…i tak boleh tahan even if it was only for TWO days!!! *sigh* and Ryan seems to be changing a lot. it’s kinda sad cuz he don’t even look like that cool adorable dude anymore. and NOW they wanna replace Van Nistelrooy with that Rossi feller…sheesh. that just sucks.

yay! next tuesday is Leo games day… but holidays must do ELDS t shirt lar…debate things lar…sigh. life is a race. you can’t ever stop to breathe properly. thank god for Love. it’s a miracle. it’s a wonderful gift only God can surprise you with. *sorry for being so mushy!*LOL.

haihzz….why are my friends changing so badly? why does she have to be that way?? we did not even fight with her… but she looks like she’s trying to be cool and all right now. does she not know that people will realize she’s changing but she’s not getting any cooler? attention, yea she’s getting heck a lot of it but other than that…no one is favouring her any more. tired of teenagers being that way. growing up isn’t so fun when your friends are mutating into enemies!

the NEW LEO T-SHIRT IS OUT!! YEAH BABY! it looks so cool. and whoever is reading this… LEO CLUB OF SMK ASSUNTA IS HAVING THEIR 35TH I.U. DAY ON THE 1ST OF APRIL! be there or be pink! (square doesn’t work but lotsa people hate pink so yeah) LOL.leo rocks. but it kills you too.

manchester united rawks..ryan rawks too. but he has to cut his hair! *i love you baby!*

exams have been killing me! aaarrggghhh…thanks a lot Twinkles. you know just what i need to keep me going..and yeah i refer to this morning. it was HELL fun i can’t get enough of it man. LOL.

physics and chem are the worst things in the world…and Add Maths is just hell. i need to go to the arts stream right now! sigh. oh my god…these idiots on Msn they are crazy nuts. why can’t she just leave me alone??? good heavens. teenagers are ass*ole*. i am one too honestly.

there’s nothing else i actually wanna type out. i can’t wait for the holidays but i don’t want them to come too. *sigh* my life is a wreck at times…i just need to run away…far away where the people say what they wanna say. i miss my pals…the close ones that are distant right now…life sucks when you’re growing up…how will it be when i do finally grow up?

manchester united rawks. ryan’s new hair look sucks.

"*"i’m calling out to you…without you i’ll just break down…if i ever get the chance to be with you i would sacrifice cuz the feeling that i feel no other man would ever make me feel so right…it’s nice to smile when i get your phone call at night…but i rather have you near with me i miss the way you hold me tight. i gotta let you know i feel so weak without your touch, i never thought that i could ever love a man so much. i gotta let you know i think that we are destinied, for you i’d cross the world for you i’d do anything. that’s right baby, i’m going crazy. i need to be your lady, i’ve been thinking lately, yeah you and me, yeah we can make it…just fly with me roll with me im in love with you baby!"*"

that was ‘going crazy’ by Natalie…i keep forgetting to go get the lyrics…so i decided to type out whatever i had in my head…and it’s all for Twinkles! love you…i know you miss me and you know i miss you too! don’t worry kiez. i’m nuts about you. been nuts for more than a year now! rock on darling.

thanks for the testimonial Laura. i forgot about it actually but thanks anyway LOL. kinda surprised cuz unexpected dudes have been writing me testimonials…and Belle if you read this… *i can feel your envy LOL!*

ANYWAY man utd rocks…they SO deserved to win the carling cup. they did it for Alan and surely made him proud. he’s SO my hero! go Alan Smith! i think Frank Lampard is hotter though. ahahaha.

nothing else to say except chemistry is beginning to rock for me! yeah! *amelia*